Yael, I've been reading your posts for quite some time and this one is perhaps the most searingly painful of all. I wish that I could find something to say that would actually be comforting but there are no words that would suffice.
IMHO, badly behaved men have been socially rewarded for years as children and teens. As a partner, you arrive on the scene after endless reinforcement of their misogyny. My advice is to keep your b***s*** radar on high alert and make sure that you never, ever put your well-being and integrity at risk for anyone.