Perhaps the larger question is why are many men (and perhaps some lesser number of women) indifferent to the vulnerability created by sexual intimacy? Frankly, I have no idea (although there are any number of obvious causes/contributors). Query whether each of us should realize our own vulnerability and protect ourselves against such pain and disappointment. That being said, Yael's point is spot-on: a man who manipulates a woman's feelings to engage in sex is no less a predator than an ordinary rapist; he just presents in a more attractive package.