I share the view that you're already divorced; you just haven't gone through the formalities. The only question is whether the process will be ugly or manageable. Free advice being worth what you pay for it, I would recommend that you find a good divorce attorney (i.e., a person who understands your situation and your objectives and who can find a way to get to an acceptable finish line -- not necessarily someone who wants to "win at all costs"). Once you understand the process, then you can rationally take next steps and make a plan (temporary relocation, job, family, etc.). Right now, it sounds like you're alone in the wilderness with no star to guide you.